Monday, April 11, 2011

Al Bundy Syndrome

Do you place your hand in your pants almost every time you sit down like this . . .



This is a serious condition known as Al Bundy Syndrome.

Hi, My name is Nfatu8e, and I have Al Bundy Syndrome. Every time I sit down, I get the urge to place my hands in my pants, but whats worse is that I place my other hand in my bra. I just feel comfortable that way. Come and join the support group, where we will address our issue and try to figure out a cure together for only 6 payments $14.95tax and fees not included. Thats Right, only 6 payments of $14.95.

Warning: Meetings may cause internal bleeding, brain hemorrhage, cancer, and may ultimately cause death.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Drop me your Digits


LOL, this is too funny, "behave yourself"

Friday, April 8, 2011

Funny

A lady with crabs sat beside me today on the bus, and I began to itch.

Pause

Total explanation: A lady with a bag of sea crabs sat beside me on the bus and because of my shell fish allergy, I began to itch.

LOL

The way I liked to be kissed

I Love Kissing. Sometimes I like kissing more than the act of having sex. And if you can kiss me right, WELL, lets just leave the rest to your imagination.

I like soft kisses, but if that all you have to offer me, I'll get bored and probably pull away, but if those soft kisses lead to this intense kiss, I'll be on you for days. I like to start off with soft kisses, pecks here and there, then longer kisses on the lips. Then I like for your tongue to part my lips and meet my tongue. I like to bite and suck on both your lips and tongue, so if you are not a fan, stay away.

While this kiss gets intense, I don't want your hands to remain on one spot, I like to be touched, all over. Grab my behind, let me feel your nails, just a bit. Put your hand up my shirt, you know whats in there, do something with them. And If you touch my neck-shoulder area in the right spot, and the right way, I'd probably have an orgasm, lol. Push me up against the wall, lift me up, grind on me, I like my make out session ROUGH. Pull my hair, weave or natural, I don't care, I like my hair being touched.

I just love kissing and I love to cuddle and I love putting my feet under peoples butt, lol.

Government SHUTDOWN

WHY????

Are UGGs Waterproof??????

We all know the answer to his question, which is Uggs are NOT waterproof. Still I'm a little confused to why females continue to wear them in the rain???? Now thats the question.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Brocs

I'm pretty sure if you see these guys on the street, you probably won't give them a second look, except for the one in the black , lol. But the one thing they do have is a knack for music. These 5 guys from Utah, yeah, I said Utah, drew me into their music, and must I say I am a fan. My favorite song so far is "Run Away From Here", I think I wanna make it my ringtone, hmmm

Nostaglia, ULTRA

Another Artist I fell in Love with. This is also New Age R&B, but I don't put him in the same boat as The Weekend. Frank Ocean is on a class of his own. This Mixtapes takes you on a ride thru dust, where you have bitches talking about being street fighters and committing love crimes. I love it, its different, I hope he continues what he's doing, we need creativeness like this. Who would a thought me playing Soul Calibur all those years would pay off, lol.

The Weeknd "House of Balloons"


I only listened to two songs off this mixtape, and I already fell in love. While I'm still continuing to listen, the beats draws me into the world of The Weekend and into the words. Its like you're stuck in this trance of visions dancing in your head. I love the way the music on this Mixtape makes me feel. New age R&B, I place this Mixtape above any Trey Songz CD, no offense.

Theophilus London


I love this Song, It just takes you on a trip, and the video, LOVE IT!!!!! Beautiful Girl, Stylish people, good music, what more can you ask for. I am a Theophilus London Advocate.

Those "That's So Gay" Commercial


My question is are these commercials necessary???

I believe that if you are a homosexual, be proud of who you are, announce it to the world if you want, but don't be a hypocritical one. When I say "hypocritical Homosexual", there are multiple meanings to it, one meaning is those that claim to be homosexual but imitate or are attracted to a person of the same gender that imitates the opposite gender. I thought the purpose of being homosexual was because you were not attracted to the features of the opposite gender, but anyways, this second meaning is the one that fits this topic.

My second meaning of a "hypocritical Homosexual" is one that fights for their rights, while taking the rights of others away. How can you tell somebody they are not allowed to practice their freedom of speech and then get angry when you are denied your own rights. I say "That's gay" and I don't mean it in an offensive way towards homosexuals. I call my straight friends fagots, as well, and I still respect my Homosexual friends.

See, I know you'll ask this question, "Well if you can say Fagot and gay, then why can't white people say Nigger?" My answer is, they can say it all they want, as long as they don't say it to the wrong Black person. You can call me a nigger all you want, thats not my name nor would I respond to it, but if u say it to someone else, you might get socked in the face. lol, but then again the word Nigger was created to demean a group of people, when the word Fagot and gay mean something totally different. If you didn't know a Fagot is actually a bunch of sticks, Ok, I do see the irony, but hey, you guys do have a bunch of sticks, lol, and gay means happy. So don't get too offended, unless they say it in a mean tone, and just like the wrong black person, sock them in the face, lol.

And if Homosexuals can make commercials like this, why can't Mentally Retarded people make commercials saying "You can't call that retarded, thats like saying that kid is so not retarded". Or stupid people can make commercials saying "You shouldn't call things stupid, thats offensive, that likes calling things smart"??????

Everyone is soo uptight, thats why the world is so violent, let people say what they want and be who they want.

I'm a Muslim, and tho I don't agree with the lifestyle, but I love homosexuals for who they are as a person, and individual. I say give them their right to get divorced and split half of everything they own, and pay alimony. If you are a Pastor or Imam or Rabbi who won't marry them, DONT, let other Pastor, Imam's, or Rabbi's marry them, must the world be so difficult, only God can judge, we have no right.

You know whats gay, denying people their rights, Now thats gay.

Peace yall

Is it boarder line Gay if a male watches his friend have sex???

Is it gay to watch your friend have sex, or even get involved in the act. Is it gay to watch straight porn????

I wonder, are the straightest guys and females the ones that watch homosexual porn, but are Heterosexual???

If you're watching your friend have sex, that means you're watching him, especially if you're rooting him on, thats a lil homo. I think I like sex to be a personal thing between you and that other person, and if you wanna see group sex, watch a video, they get paid for that.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Religion

I love Bill Maher and really respect him, but somethings I don't agree with, especially the way he bashes religion. He kind of makes it seem that it is the religions fault for some of the atrocities people do, but that is not the case because many non believers, or Atheist, commit crimes as well. Religion does not teach people to steal from the poor, Religion does not teach people to be a pedophile and rape little boys, and Religion does not teach people to blow themselves up and kill other people. People teach people that.

By nature and history, we know that most Middle easterners, Persians, are very brutal. Unfortunately a vast majority of them are Muslims now, and that is where people tend to find it hard to separate their culture with the true religion. We also know that Religion is not for the weak, and unfortunately, 75% ( an estimate) of all humans in the world are weak minded. If you want an example, check out those Tea Party groups in the United States who call Obama a Socialist, without even knowing what a socialist is, but do so because the TV says so. Now the problem with the religion is the translation of the books. That is why I say every person has their own religion. Two people who sit beside each other in Church will not take the preaching of the pastors the same way, nor will the translate the Bible the same way. Or two Muslims praying next to each other in the Mosque may move alike, but prayers may be different. Now because the Original Bible was written in Old Latin, even people who speak Latin today wouldn't be able translate it 100% today, and we forget that some words used now had a different meaning in the past. Another Issue about the Bible is the many different versions of the Bible out there, and the rule of the Romans. Thats where the Bible starts to lose its true identity. A problem with the Qur- an and the Torah are the language barrier as well. Old Arabic is not like new Arabic, and old Hebrew is not like the new Hebrew. Another problem is that people don't understand whether or not if God is being Metaphoric or actual, hence the reason why some people are extreme in their belief. And this is just my view, I over analyze things. I am a Muslim, but not more of a modern one. I don't wear an Hijab, and have not got into the practice of actually praying 5 times a day, which I am going to start doing. I have a problem with some of the teachings in Islam, especially the Shariah law. See my whole thing is that if we believe in Jesus, and his teachings, and if Jesus said "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone" then why do we stone people to death. I see that law as a test by God, but who am I. I just know I believe in God, All of the Prophets, All of the Holy Books, and in Angels.

PEACE TO ALL

State of the Black Community

As I was driving to work from my apartment in Baltimore, its not hard to see that Black people have no integrity or take pride in their community (I am African-American by the way). As I was driving, you see boarded up houses, potholes in the roads, liquor store, church, funeral home, family dollar, church, liquor store, beauty supply store, liquor store, corner store, and that pattern continues until I came upon smooth driving. Nice roads, houses with their grass mowed, a Giant food store, Starbucks, Rita's, at that point, I knew I was not in Baltimore anymore, but in Towson.

Another issue is that Black people do not tend to own anything in their communities, so nothing there is ours. Our hosing communities owned by Jews, the Mcdonalds are being taken over by Hispanics, who I must say, provide MUCH better service. The 7-11's and gas stations owned by Indians or Middle Easterners, The beauty supply stores owned by Asians, and some corner stores and liquor stores as well. The Tyrone's Chicken sounds like it might be owned by black people, WRONG, its owned by Asians as well. Even Hip Hop, the choice of music for most black people, is owned by mostly Jews, hence the reason why they tell Artists who try to uplift us to "Dumb it down" in order to make profit. Funny thing is, a lot of Jews treat black people like Hitler and the Ancient Egyptians treated them, in a new modern way, but that is a whole other topic.

Getting Back to the topic at hand, living in Baltimore has opened my eyes drastically to what my home Prince George's county may become. If you didn't know, Prince George's County is the richest African American County in the United states, and sorry to say, its becoming more and more worse due to the rising crime rate. We can blame that on the Gentrification going on in DC where they are moving out the black people, rebuilding area's, and making the rent super expensive so those black people can not afford to move back in, and guess where those people are coming??? You got it , Prince George's County.

Now I don't blame DC for doing what they did, maybe if black people stopped killing each other, took better care of their community and environment, influence their children to go to school and better themselves rather than become baby mama's in the system and gun slinging gangsters who wanna be rappers, maybe no one would be trying to kick us out. We litter and pollute our communities, We steal from our stores, and the worst thing about us, we are Jealous sons of guns who don't want the next man to succeed, but to fail, just so we might take their position. We also sell drugs to our mothers, brothers, and sisters, and demean our women. Its just so many problems we have, now we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Yes our history shows that we were raped of our pride, our culture, our dignity, our everything, physically, mentally, religiously, and sexually, but what about the great minds like abolitionist Fredrick Douglas, self taught Booker T Washington, Great leaders El- Hajj Malik El-Shabazz and Martin Luther King. Its like after they were taken out, everyone else was afraid to step up and lead our community. But the leaders start within ourselves.

My Plan is after I graduate from College and start making significant amount of money, is to invest in my communities. Buy those Beauty Supply Stores, Remove those liquor stores, build Boys and Girls Centers, and do so much more. I want to educate my people, even if they don't want to be educated, I want to do so much for my community, and this is a promise.


Friday, April 1, 2011

The Hangover Part II

Now I was already dying of laughter at this trailer. The first one was hilarious, but this just might be one of the best sequels to any movie other than Spiderman 3.

Everything Must Go, movie trailer

When i saw The Notorious B.I.G's son in the trailer, I got chills, this boy is a splitting image of his father. Other that that, This Movie looks like its going to be Very funny. Anything with Will Ferrell is a laugh fest, even if its meant to be serious.